What to do when you fly across the world with your toxic relationship that inevitably ends in disaster:
1. You get the fuck out of there. Don't wait. Just go.
2. A stiff goodbye side hug is the only last contact necessary. Don't call. Don't text. Don't respond. You're literally fleeing the country from him. Leave that shit behind.
3. Take a train into London and smile at the exciting new adventure, realize this is a good thing, a brand new door with unlimited potential for an incredible experience.
4. Plan to go to Paris, head to the train station, decide on Scotland instead.
5. Drink local beer and eat local food. Try the crazy stuff that the bartender recommends. Don't ask what Haggis is. Just eat it. Remember, this is a whole new experience. So treat it like you wouldn't anything else.
6. Ride horses on the beach.
7. Dye your hair blonde. Because is it even a breakup if you didn't do something drastic to your hair? It could be worse... bangs.
8. Spend your birthday roaming Edinburgh, bouncing around groups of people and staying out too late.
9. Decide this will be the best year of your life. Put that energy out into the universe.
10. Ok, now it's time for Paris. Treat yourself to a king size bed hotel in Champs-Elysees that comes with free espresso and a killer view because you fucking deserve something to treat you with love and appreciation.
11. When you take a train back into London to head to Paris and the cute guy next to you drops a book on your foot and offers to make up for it with a coffee date - say yes.
12. Tell your story. Proudly. Safely, but PROUDLY. Because it's interesting and you've spent too much time forgetting how interesting you are. You'll remember really quickly, when everyone finds you bold, strong, fearless and badass--all qualities you forgot about.
13. When you're in Paris, fall in love with the table for one. Paris was made for the single traveler, despite its reputation of being the City of Love, and you should be proud of your independence. You don't fucking need anyone else, except your own fantastic self.
14. Drink wine and coffee. Eat all the baguette and croissants. Walk like you are unapologetically exactly who you are because that is the Parisian way and you are slowly piecing yourself back together.
15. See everything. Walk miles. Squeeze every bit of experience into the few days you have.
16. Decide on Ireland next.
17. When you head back to London before you fly to Dublin, let the cute guy from the train take you on a date. Let him show you London the way the locals enjoy it.
18. Bang the cute guy from the train because fuck it, this is a new chapter and even if you never see him again, if it makes you feel sexy and you want to do it, embrace it. It's something you've never done and that's what this trip is all about. Liberation, discovery, reinventing.
19. You're in Dublin now, start drinking Guinness. It's the locals' way.
20. Talk to everyone. The Irish are the most inviting people in the world, take advantage of it. Remember, your story is interesting and hard to come by. People find those conversations intoxicating. If anything, it's just a breath of fresh air.
21. Go to the coast, take a boat ride around Ireland's Eye because it's only 10 euros and the view is jaw dropping.
22. Drink a glass of wine and eat fish and chips at some hole in the wall. I promise, it'll be the best you ever have.
23. If the smoking hot bartender asks to buy you a drink, you order a Guinness with a smile on your face and say thank you when he says he's impressed.
24. When he asks you to go to lunch before you have to go to the airport, GO. If anything, it keeps you from having to take the hour long bus ride back and you get to enjoy free food and listening to that accent for a couple hours. *swoon*
25. On your way back, don't cry because the adventure feels over. Recall every moment, every beautiful experience that brought you back to life and rebuilt your self-esteem.
26. Move somewhere else instead of going home. Anywhere else, because there's nothing for you back home.
27. Embrace this new city like just another opportunity for a whole new adventure. Regroup.
28. And remember, you are fucking interesting. People want to know you. Don't let some failed attempt at finding yourself in the shadow of another relationship let you forget who you are and what you're capable of. Because you made this whole adventure happen with nobody else's help. That was all you because you are badass.